Daddy’s Wife and himself have always had two cars between them. This enables them both to get to work and go wherever they so choose. Once baby was born they officially became a “two-car-family”. Translated this means logistically it can become a nightmare for parents. A literal nightmare.

Daddy would wake up at 6am to run around the house bleary eyed in order to get ready for work. As he steps out of the house he suddenly realises that baby’s essentials such as the buggy and car-seat are in separate vehicles.  He has to quickly assess the situation to figure out what needs to go where. He realises the majority of baby items are probably in his car but the main car-seat and blanket is in mummy’s car. The quick transfer of baby items begins.

Or so he thought.

He opens his car door and scans the inside – he sees the spare car-seat at the back but is quickly reminded by his brain that mummy also has a car-seat in her car. He ignores the spare car-seat. On the back seat he sees a bag full of toys; he grabs the bag with the intention of putting the bag inside mummy’s car ready for her to take to nanny and grandads, along with baby. With the bag of toys, he runs over to mummy’s car and is frustrated by the fact that he does not have her keys. He runs back to the house to hunt around for them. “Where the f**k are her keys”? He shouts to himself, realising he may be late for work.

He finds them inside baby’s ball pool and makes his way to mummy’s car and throws the bag inside. He proceeds back to his car. “What the f**k have I done with my keys”? He searches his pockets frantically but finds them on the roof of his car. The buggy is on his front seat due to not being able to fit inside the boot. He picks up the buggy and runs over to mummy’s car. “What the f**k have I done with her keys”? He shouts.  It begins to rain. He sees her keys are on top of his car; he throws the buggy down and runs over to his car to pick up the keys.

Buggy is placed in to her boot.

Daddy locks mummy’s car.

Daddy runs over to his car to start the engine and head to work. But as he pulls away, he realises he has mummy’s car keys in his pocket. He stops the engine and rushes out in to the pissing rain to drop her keys in to the house. He momentarily looks at both sets of keys to figure out which set needs to stay in the house for mummy to use. He drops off mummy’s set.

Or so he thought.

He runs back to his car.

He has her set.

He does however realise that the spare car-seat in the back of his car WILL be required by his mum and dad who are due to look after baby. (Mummy’s car has the fixed car-seat). He runs back to grab his car keys from the house. He runs back toward his car to transfer the spare car-seat in to mummy’s car, “What the f**k have I done with her keys”? He can’t find them anywhere. He runs back to the house and finds them in the door. He runs back toward the car. He throws the car-seat in to mummy’s car and runs back to the house and throws mummy’s keys on the floor.

He runs back to his car, starts the engine and drives to work………….

Shitty Keys
    Shitty Keys