After waking up in the middle of the night, mummy asks daddy a question (who is currently in his first deep sleep since Christmas).

Mummy: “Do you think she is alright”?

Daddy: “….”

Mummy: “Do you think she is alright”?

Daddy: “What”!?

Mummy: “Do you think she is alright”?

Daddy: “What do you mean”?

Mummy: “Do you wanna go and check to see whether she is breathing”?

Daddy: “Why me? She will be fine”.

Mummy: “Please go and check”.

Daddy: “No, it is you who is worried; I am all warm and comfortable…and besides, you just f****g woke me up”.

Mummy: “Yes I know but I want you to go and check”.

[Daddy leaps from bed to check on baby]

Mummy: “Well”?

Daddy: “Well what”?

Mummy: “Is she breathing”?

Daddy: “Yes. Now go to sleep”.

Mummy: “What’s that noise? She’s awake”.

Dadddy: “Definitely f*****g breathing now”.

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